I looked Death in the eye yesterday

What is pain? What is the most painful experience you ever had in your life? Yesterday, I finally asked myself that question.

Three days ago, i cought a cold, not the pendanmic flu. I always thought of myself as a person who have acquired one of the strongest body on the planet since I not only eat right but excercise on a daily bases. But I was wrong. At the beinging, the cold wasn't so bad. I can feel the difference of my body in terms of its tempeature and behavior. I increased my vitamin C intake on that day to almost 900%, nine times of my average need.

I like to push myself, sometimes, without even considering the consequences. The cold turned to be going bad in the middle of the day, arround 1:30. About 2:00 afternoon, I drove my car to 24 Hour Fitness and conducted my cardio excercise. On the minute I stepped on the treadmill i knew something is not right. My left head is hurting and it felt like fi someone was kicking it from the inside. But surpursingly, I thought of this as a unique kind of training where I could perform under part of my body not functioning. I started the routine. The fan on the treadmille was blowing cold wind right on my face, and that was when everything went really bad.

I run for about 1 mile and could not go any farther. I could no longer breath. A normal activity such as breathing turned out to be so dame hard for me. I tried to use my lung and i was about to beout. I felt sleepy and i can hardly open my eye. I walked to my car and drove home as fast as I could. My room was the only thing i have in my mind at that time. I don't know how i got to the house, the whole routine was totally driven my my memory.

I went into the bathroom. My face was all white. I was shocked becuase i have never seem myself under that type of condition. I was sweating in a unusual way. The heart kept beating fast since it could not get the amount of air it needed. I thought about calling 911, but on the next moment, it went like, "fucking American health care."No one was in the house and for that moment I really thought if i was about to die.

But for the first time, interestingly, I was not scared of death. Perhpas there were no regrets for me left, while maybe a little for my mother, but nothing else. Yet, i am pround of my courage, but at the same time i see how a giant body, can turn wrong just by a small lung, and how much I took things for granted.

For some people, for their whole life they have never thought about the value of breathing untile the last minute of their life. I am glad I learned that earily in life.

At the end, two lesson i learned:
1. Always appreicate becuase there are so many things one is doing now for granted.
2. Consider all aspects. Often we concentrate on the biggest part and often the small part which we never considered before killed us at the end.