On Video Game (To be Continued)

For the last a few weeks, I have been playing video games in such an intensive manner, which exhausted me. At last even my pen looked at me as if I am foreign. All in all I wanted to know of what qualities that made this game so attractive to youth. I understood the risk for while I was young I had played them and enjoyed them all. My girlfriend was for some period worried; thus changed the password, yet somehow I managed to continue this experiment. I cannot tell anybody of course because that may change the result. But at the end I say the reason why youth play so much video games are for their nature they have a heart of being a worrier yet they have not the actual courage to be one.
However I had to admit; the games are difficult to play. It demands not only tentative concentration but also careful observation of the every player’s environment, for proper assistant is a must for the winning of a game, and with it along, memorization, fast reaction, perseverance, etc. So much the qualities that I think can make millionaires or even billionaires.

New quotation

I was just over at a discussion board, and i come across with this quotation, and it really moved me.

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible.

New Goal Established

It has been a year now since i graduated from high school. I have accomplished the goal i sat from last year-"develop a FIT body". So here, i sat a new goal for myself to accomplished this year. "develop a STRONG body". Like losing weight, I am not going to take the easy routine.

Goal/(self test):
1. Bench 1.5 times your body weight.
Upper body strength test

2. Run 1.5 miles in 10 minutes.
An indicator of peak aerobics capacity-your body ability to deliver oxygen to your working muscles.

3. Touch the rim
A good vertical leap is the ultimate sign of lower-body power. It means you can combine lower body speed and strength into one quick movement.

4. Leg Press 2.25 Times your weight.
Your leg and butt muscles are the foundation of your body and essential for almost any activity.

5. Swim 700 yards in 12 minutes
A test of aerobic capacity and upper body muscle.

6. Do 40 push ups
Upper body endurance-the ability to use strength over time.

7. Comparison of waist and hip circumferences (0.81 or better).
The more fat your body stores in your midsection, the higher your risk of heart disease.

8. Run 300 yards in less than 1 minutes
Total body function: explosive, endurance, strength...

9. Touch your toes
Flexibility. The more flexible you are, the lesser you will be injured from sport activities.

10. Toss basketball 75 feet-kneeling
Arm combine chest.

I looked Death in the eye yesterday

What is pain? What is the most painful experience you ever had in your life? Yesterday, I finally asked myself that question.

Three days ago, i cought a cold, not the pendanmic flu. I always thought of myself as a person who have acquired one of the strongest body on the planet since I not only eat right but excercise on a daily bases. But I was wrong. At the beinging, the cold wasn't so bad. I can feel the difference of my body in terms of its tempeature and behavior. I increased my vitamin C intake on that day to almost 900%, nine times of my average need.

I like to push myself, sometimes, without even considering the consequences. The cold turned to be going bad in the middle of the day, arround 1:30. About 2:00 afternoon, I drove my car to 24 Hour Fitness and conducted my cardio excercise. On the minute I stepped on the treadmill i knew something is not right. My left head is hurting and it felt like fi someone was kicking it from the inside. But surpursingly, I thought of this as a unique kind of training where I could perform under part of my body not functioning. I started the routine. The fan on the treadmille was blowing cold wind right on my face, and that was when everything went really bad.

I run for about 1 mile and could not go any farther. I could no longer breath. A normal activity such as breathing turned out to be so dame hard for me. I tried to use my lung and i was about to beout. I felt sleepy and i can hardly open my eye. I walked to my car and drove home as fast as I could. My room was the only thing i have in my mind at that time. I don't know how i got to the house, the whole routine was totally driven my my memory.

I went into the bathroom. My face was all white. I was shocked becuase i have never seem myself under that type of condition. I was sweating in a unusual way. The heart kept beating fast since it could not get the amount of air it needed. I thought about calling 911, but on the next moment, it went like, "fucking American health care."No one was in the house and for that moment I really thought if i was about to die.

But for the first time, interestingly, I was not scared of death. Perhpas there were no regrets for me left, while maybe a little for my mother, but nothing else. Yet, i am pround of my courage, but at the same time i see how a giant body, can turn wrong just by a small lung, and how much I took things for granted.

For some people, for their whole life they have never thought about the value of breathing untile the last minute of their life. I am glad I learned that earily in life.

At the end, two lesson i learned:
1. Always appreicate becuase there are so many things one is doing now for granted.
2. Consider all aspects. Often we concentrate on the biggest part and often the small part which we never considered before killed us at the end.

A quick note.

what the hell is wrong with 21st century student? I really wonder.
In Harvard, i once heard this student telling me how they have to study for seven hours per day. At first, i was surprised of their extreme diligence, but, later i found myself to be one of them. Three of my really close friend, came from fairly good Chinese background, study in the same community college, but taking classes for credit. They squeeze their class from Monday to Wednesday, and always go with the easy teacher. Why would one ever shoot for an easy teacher when there are great people who can show you a new world. Beethoven did not learn music from mediation; instead, he was one of the student from Hydn. He worked hard, and to a point where in his 3rd stage of life, after he lost his hearing, he can compose music without sound. Try to imagine a Nascar driver race without eye sight or with eye closed. That is how good he is, and how much he had practiced.

Why Am I Living Like This

Every morning the alarm goes off at five-thirty. Each and everyday, it does not matter if it is Monday or Sunday. The sun is up, I am up; the sun is down, I am down. I am sitting in the chair, hands on the keyboard, and typing this paper.
My body is at the edge to physical exhaustion right now. My upper back, the biggest muscle group, is not only sore but also tired. I cannot describe this feeling. It’s unique and special for me.
Imagine yourself as a mommy. You are sitting in a chair instead of lying in a coffin. From your feet to your neck, your body does not wish to make any tiny move-not even crossing the leg or raising the arm. The only “useable” that still reminds are my fingers, my mouth, my eyeballs, and my brain.
This is not the first time I encounter this feeling. I have been though this for thousands of times. I used to lie on the bed, counting my breath and heart rate, but I would not fall asleep because my brain was not tired. It is just that my body is no longer responding to any commands given by my neurons.
I still remember when I first got started to live like this. I wanted to give up. Just like how any normal human beings would when they face difficulty. Give up, the easiest and fastest solution to all problems, but often, the worst solution. So I chose not.
I train six days a week, and on the seventh day I rest because I have too. Every morning I wake up, it is still dark and cold outside; I go to the bathroom and stare at myself though the mirror and repeats to myself of my values and goals.
I need motivations, all kind of motivations. Sometimes I may intentionally search for inspiring stories, quotations, speeches, mp3 files, etc. there are just too much pain, psychologically, physically, and spiritually.
But all this is only half of I. On the other half, I am a student, a hardworking one. In this essay, I want to tell you about my journey and why am I living like this. A life that is extraordinary, difficult, and unimaginable.
I was born in Kunming, China of a wealthy family. My father has his own business; my mother is a highly admired governor; both of my grandparents are university professors. My family puts education as their top priority; from elementary to high school, I received the best education one can possibly find in my city.
In my earlier youth, my family spoiled me since I am the only child. My life was filled with materialism. As a result, I tried to find something to do everyday so that the time could go by faster. I had set no goals for myself. Imagine a teenager with full of money in his pocket doing nothing but sleeping. That was I. Eventually; I became an infamy for the family.
I came to United States at the age of thirteen. Attended Chino Hills High School at first. In two months most faculties already disliked me because of the attitude I held. I was egoistic, prideful, and undisciplined.
The next year, my mother transferred me to Villanova prep School. She hoped since the school is catholic and private, maybe the strike rules and religion can transform or at least influence me. Soon, her assumption failed again.
Sophomore year, I received my first Board of Disciple (the highest degree of penalty in my school) for ignoring the instructions given by dormitory staffs, schoolteachers, and institution itself. My mother wrote letters to the teacher’s council begging for forgiveness. At the end, I was forced to sign a contract. The contract states that, in order to not get expelled, I will agree that I will not get into any more trouble in the next twelve month. In addition, three times I week I will meet with an psychiatrist because I was considered as an “troubled kid.”
Maybe I was. Junior year, just about nine months after I had just signed the first contract, I received another Board of Discipline. This time, cheating in multiple examinations. It ranges from English vocabulary quiz to Spanish final exam. My family knew at this point I would become a useless and even potential harmful person for the society. My grandfather had officially stated to me on the phone, “Steven, I have lost all my hopes in you.”
Senior year, with 1320 on SAT and 2.9 on GPA record; I was rejected by all of my colleges. Nobody knew this, not even my parents, college counselor, or even best friend. When the graduation took place, I was the only one in my class that did not get into a university.
But today, I stand here as student with 3.9 GPA on the record, an active volunteer for the society, and of course, an athlete. When look back, I really don’t know what changed me. I have attempted many times by using various techniques: photos, writing essays, talking with old friends, etc.
At the end, all I can recall are the conversations I had with school headmaster regarding with my false action and my visit to Harvard University in the summer of 2008.Till today, I still cannot find a logical reason for why I am not expelled form from the school after receiving two Board of Discipline in less than one and half year. The school is private, filled with kids of excellent family backgrounds. Why does such school allow me to stay while I am just destroying the school’s reputation? Perhaps it is all the prayers done by the sisters. I really don’t know. It is a mystery for me that can never be answered.
In the summer of 2008, I traveled to Harvard University, took a course that was not even close to my present education plan. All I wanted was an experience, an experience that cost fifteen thousand dollar. Boston was beautiful and Harvard was huge. At the end of one and half month of summer class, I learned nothing, but I did acquired two sets of new attitudes.
One came from a brilliant girl. Her name is Ada, an extraordinary student whom was once accepted by Harvard, Stanford, Yale, John Hopkins, and many other universities at the same time. She showed me the definition of hard work. On weekday, twenty-five hours of studying, which does not include the class time. On weekends, another eight to twelve hours more, depends on the class schedule. I assumed she must be super brilliant because of her grade and school reputation. I asked her how she did it. She answered, “Early bird gets the worm. It is all about discipline and hard work.”
The other attitude I acquired came from a handsome young man; his name is Dimitris. He showed me the importance of living. Dimitris is an international student from Greece, major in dentistry. One day we were in a Vitamin restaurant next to the Charles River having lunch. We were chatting on the subject of “life”. Dimirtris said, “studying is important because it is your job, but you are a human, you are born to live not to work.”
I packed these two sets new attitudes along with my luggage. It took time, pain, and even tears to reshape them to the ones that best fits me. Now, they are in three simple phrases: “discipline like a solider”, “work like a Harvard student”, and “train like an Olympian.” I know I am never going to become a solider, a Harvard student, or an Olympian. But I do know, I have a dream now: to make the world a good place, not better but just good, and in order to let my dream come true, I have to acquire all the good characteristics and personalities each of these group obtains-rigor, courage, confidence, discovery, creativity, hard work, problem solving, and at last, discipline.
All students are athletes and we are in constantly training. Our body is composed of more than seven hundred muscles. I classify them into two groups, the simple and the complex.
The simple includes all the six hundred and ninety-nine. They are the one you can touch and feel, for instance, your chest, your back, your leg, etc. they can be trained, be feed, be shaped and reshaped, by simple applicable formulas like workout and nutrient.
But there reminds one more. The one that is so complex, so unique that it can be never reshaped, and that is our human brain. It only weights three pound, but it is so powerful and unpredictable that it has the capacity to construct the most magnificent building in the world like the Versailles in France, but at the same time, it also has the capacity to design powerful killing weapons like the nuclear bomb. This is why school exists, to train the most complex part in human body, the brain.
Look back, I feel thankful for all the people I have met and lived. It is them, who established and created the present me. I appreciate pain and I befriend with fear because I understand now the only way I will grow is though pain, and only thing I should focus on are things I feared the most. Fish that swims against the current are often strongest. This and everything is the reason I lived like this. To train my body and my brain so hard so I may best serve the country, the community and

my first poem

I look myself into the mirror

But I get nothing except a head and a body.

I look myself into the eye, the so-called gates of my soul,

But I still get nothing except two empty black balls.

I ask myself who am I?

I hear nothing except the click of the clock.

I sit here tried to answer it,

But I know I will just end up with another set of new questions.